Please Stay
by Tigerdust
Summary: Castiel stops by the Batcave to say goodbye to Dean. Dean would rather he not.
1. Chapter 1

Dean counted as he brushed his teeth. He couldn't quite recall where he had learned the trick from, probably a book somewhere, but he'd been doing it for forever. It gave him a private little thrill to watch his lips bubble up white like a mad dog. He'd always considered himself a scrapper and it made sense to him more than anything. If he were to be an animal, a mad dog would be about right.

He turned on the cold water and leaned his head down to spit, replacing the clean toothbrush in his mouth while he looked for the toothpaste cap. He didn't even have to look in the mirror before he saw Cas.

"Hey Cas," Dean said, trying to hide his joy at seeing Cas again. He kept his eyes to the reflection of the angel in the mirror in case he was dreaming again. He took the toothbrush out of the side of his mouth and let it slide into its special toothbrush cup with the toothpaste. "Wasn't sure when I'd see you again."

"I-I hadn't heard from you in awhile," Cas said with an edge to his voice. "I didn't know if I'd be welcome after everything-"

Dean turned, a smile forced onto his face, smirk wide enough that he felt like he was cracking his own jaw in half. "Of course you're welcome, you're family," he said with a sharp slap on Cas' shoulders.

Castiel followed Dean out of the private bathroom and down the hallway back to his room. "Dean-"

"No, no, let me show ya what we've got for ya here," Dean said with honest enthusiasm as he closed his bedroom door behind them and pointed to an empty half of the room. "I figured being an angel, a traditional mattress is out but I couldn't resist the memory foam. They were having a sale and-"

"Dean-"

"I got you a dresser. Sanded it myself and restained it. The last people who had it lived in this weird 80s hybrid purple and white color scheme but it got Sammy out of my hair and it was so awesome to go to Home Depot for a belt sander. You know how many types of belt sanders there are, Cas? There are maybe 500 kinds to choose from and they even send a catalog to your mailbox of all things-"

"That's nice Dean, but I really have to-"

"I made sure we got a set of stuff for you to eat off of. We thought we'd trade off on cookin' nights and that's fine by me as long as Sammy's not working himself to death-"

"DEAN!"

Dean turned slowly from where he'd been surveying Cas' half of the room. He let his arms linger at his side as he mentally went through his plans for a second time, looking up over Cas' hairline. "Don't say it. Anything but what I think you're gonna say."

"Dean-"

Dean looked down, his eyes quivering. "No."

"Dean," Cas said, softly this time and moving closer.

"Cas," Dean purred, "we've talked about this."

"Personal space," Cas said as he stopped a half an inch from where he normally would.

"Well, it's a start," Dean said, "now, before you say what you gotta say- I need you to hear some things first. Yeah, I know, I know, you wanna be all noble and bullshit. And sure, we're in danger. Blah. Blah. Blah. When aren't we? But if you think for a moment I'm not gonna fight ya tooth and nail on this, you're wrong."

"Don't make this harder than it has to be, Dean."

"You better bet your Skippy pb I'm gonna make this harder than it needs to be, Cas. You're my angel. You don't get to go anywhere without my say-so."

Cas closed the gap between the two, his lips turning white. "You think this is something I want?"

"You sure been actin' like it. I thought after everything we'd gone through, you wouldn't just give up like I didn't mean anything to ya. Like Sam didn't mean anything to ya."

Cas walked away, pacing, looking at his side of the room while Dean watched him. "It's nice, that you thought of me. But why?" Cas asked as he turned to face Dean from Dean's half of the room. "What if I'm more of a danger to you than a help?"

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"What if I put you or Sam in immediate danger and don't even know I'm doing it?"

"Talking from personal experience?"

Cas turned away again. "It's very nice. Very barren though."

"We thought-I thought- maybe you'd decorate it."

"I would have liked that, Dean."

Dean closed the gap between them, coming up close to Cas' ear. "Then stay," he whispered.

Cas shook his head. "I can't. I just couldn't go without saying goodbye."

"Don't say goodbye. Not you," Dean growled in Cas' ear.

"Even me," Castiel said, trying hard to not be unmoved.

Dean grabbed onto Cas' hand. "Then take me with you."

"You don't know what you're asking."

"You crazy sonofabitch, you know exactly what I'm asking."

Cas tried to take his hand out of Dean's grip to little success. Dean's hand was shaking. "Stop this, Dean. It's madness."

"Is it? This is the most maddening thing that's ever happened between us?"

"I thought we agreed-"

"You agreed. Benny ain't here."

"It was your idea," Cas stated, staring straight ahead while Dean moved to the other ear.

"I didn't hear no complaints."

"Why would I ever complain?"

"Then stay," Dean said as he slid his fingers up Cas' arms to Cas' shoulder. "Test out your mattress."

"No, Dean," Cas said with a faraway lilt to his voice. "I have to go."

"Stay," Dean said slowly, calmly, in the most seductive voice he had. "Stay for me."

Castiel turned, facing Dean and breathing hard. "Why? Why can't you just let me go?"

Dean shrugged a little. "Old habits are hard to break."

"You said once we were all broken."

"Yeah and I meant it," Cas said as he swallowed Cas' midsection with his arms, leaving Cas trapped in his embrace. "But maybe broken ain't such a bad thing. When we finally fit altogether."

"You've been planning this," Cas said, suddenly struck by the thought that Dean really was going to fight him tooth and nail, an angel- even one as close to leaving heaven as himself.

"You better your tuckus I've been planning this, Cas. My Cas," he purred. "Look at me, Cas."

Cas looked down and to the left and right, feverish. "No," he said, stumbling over the word.

"It's just us. Nobody listenin', nobody watching. Just you and me," Dean said. "Hey, look at me."

"Stop, please," Cas said with all reserves leaving his body.

He felt cold air as Dean scooted away. Cas felt the air leave his body and join all that was being sucked out of the room. "Then go. But don't come back."

"Yes, I-" Cas began to say.

Dean shook his head and Cas could see that he was near tears. "No, I don't wanna hear it. Not after everything. There ain't an explanation or an excuse that's gonna make up for breakin' your word, Cas. Just go. In fact, I'll leave. I'll make it easier on ya," Dean said as he went for the door.

His foot was out the door and his arms swinging free of the doorknob when Castiel tackled him to the ground. They tussled for a moment until Castiel lay sprawled out on top of  
Dean, Dean grinning like a mad fool with an angry Castiel straddling him.

"You think this is a game?! You think this is easy?! I'm saving your life! I'm saving you!"

"But who saves you Cas?" Dean asked, his smile collapsing into nothingness, the lines on his forehead creasing into worry. "You're doin' the old Superman act on me but you're flyin' without a wire these days. For how long, huh? This could be your home. We could be your home. I could be your home."

"Stop this."

Dean squirmed one arm free, carressing Cas' cheek with the hand. "Soft. I like you better without the beard. But the thing I love most about you is your eyes, is what they see. How smart ya are behind them. My Cas."

Castiel leaned into the hand, letting the thumb carress his lips as he shut his eyes. "Don't ask me to stay."

"I can't do that and you know it," Dean whispered helplessly. "Please stay."

Castiel leaned down, kissing Dean on the lips lightly and then curling into the hunter, placing his head on Dean's chest, so he could hear Dean breathing. Dean's arms curled around Cas' frame and Dean spoke low to Cas, like a chant. "We'll make it okay, Cas. Everything will be okay."


	2. Chapter 2

"I feel like the Stay Puft marshmallow man," Dean said as he walked, the squelching sound of fat all around the outside of his body, including a glob hanging off his ears.

"You look like you need a shower," Sam said without even looking. "At least it wasn't smelly."

"That was good shit," Dean said. "Just what we needed, right? A good old-fashioned demon hunt! No complications, no apocalypse-"

"No portal to hell," Sam finished wistfully. "And someone waiting for you."

Dean looked where Sam was pointing with the butt of his rifle and saw Castiel walking toward them expectantly in the distance. He looked hesitant, a basket in his hands.

"Hey Cas, what's up? I thought you said you didn't think you were ready to hunt without angel powers?"

"I'm not," Castiel stated with a nod, "but I was," he looked around, trying not to be embarressed, "worried. About you and Sam. And I know you say not to be worried and I know I logically shouldn't be but your safety and well-being is important to me, regardless."

Dean held up his hand. "It's okay, Cas. Before you start ramblin' and apologizin', whats in the basket?"

Even Sam could see Castiel's blush in the moonlight. He started to walk back towards the Bat Cave without them. "Sweet rolls," he heard Cas say as he started to put distance between them.

"You made us sweet rolls? That's awesome Cas."

Castiel shook his head. "I'm afraid I burned them a little. You can try one if you like. Dean, I'm- I'm sorry I'm not more help."

"Nah, you're fine," Dean said with a mucky hand on Castiel's shoulder. "You've been part of the team for a long time. Ain't gonna leave ya behind just because you've got learning to do."

"I appreciate that." They walked a steady pace, quiet in thought and walking side by side without awkwardness between them, nearly in the same rhythm as they had walked from one end of Purgatory to the other, and then most likely back again- telling that sort of thing in Purgatory was nearly impossible.

"Cas," Dean broke the silence without meaning to, stopping his walking and turning to look at Castiel, who paused as well.

"Yes, Dean."

"I'm glad- I'm glad you're decorating your half of the room. It's nice-it's nice to see you nearby."

"Yes, it is nice to rest. Thank you for helping me to pick out adornments. It feels complete."

"Almost."

"Almost? What is missing?"

"Well, it's just," Dean looked around like a teenager, "don't make me say it, Cas. Come on."

"Dean, do you need to walk quicker? You are looking uncomfortable."

"Well, no- I mean, I could use a shower- but I like walking with you."

"We should get you home then. The sweet rolls will keep," Cas said as he started to walk, Dean not following.

"Wait, Cas. If I-"

Castiel turned and shook his head. "Dean, you don't have to say anything. This is me. I accept you, I don't care what you think you've done or who you think you are. Were you not the man I thought you to be, I'd have thrown you back down to hell long ago," he stated as though it were a fact of nature.

"That's oddly comforting, but that's not it- Cas,I-" Dean started to choke up.

"Dean?"

"Never mind," Dean said, looking around uncomfortably and then starting to walk again, aware of the rays of moonlight moving through the break in the trees. Aware of how Cas looked and moved.

They didn't speak until long after they'd gone to bed, Cas on one side of the room and Dean on the other. Dean had the radio on low, listening, deep in thought. Cas gazed on him intently, wondering what it was Dean had been thinking.

Dean came across a Lady Antebellum song and stopped, not turning it up but not turning it down, his fingers pressed and stopped as he looked over at Castiel, whose gaze he could feel.

Lyin' here with you so close to me  
It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe  
I'm caught up in this moment, caught up in your smile

I've never opened up to anyone  
So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms  
We don't need to rush this, let's just take it slow

"Cas, just listen for a second, okay? I know I'm not perfect. I know I've said and done and lot of questionable shit in my life. And I know we're both afraid, we'd be insane not to be. But, Cas, you have to know, I just- I just have to say that I love you."

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight  
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright  
And I don't want to mess this thing up  
No, I don't want to push too far

Just a shot in the dark that you just might  
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life  
So baby, I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

"I love you as well," came the response as Castiel rose slightly so he could look at Dean properly, Dean who was now blushing and looking down at the blanket curled over part of his body.


End file.
